Friday, November 19, 2010

Still In A Funk

My friends, I am still reeling from the loss of my Dixie girl. This blog started out to be my way of documenting my fosters and my personal greyhounds. Something I would have to look back on, a kind of history.

But these days, I am mostly uninspired. I find myself wanting to withdraw from everything. I am very active with my local adoption group. I am Secretary, Adoption Representative and foster mom. But I must admit, that I have my letter of resignation already written up and saved on my computer. I keep waiting to send it. I don't want to do anything that seems rash.

I also find myself not trusting the 2-leggeds any longer. I took Jax in so his family could keep him when they moved to Hawaii. Now 8 days later, I have lost communication with them. Please, dear God, don't tell me you are going to leave me with him. Not much support from my own group either. While this was not a foster situation when I took him in, I just thought I might get some personal support.

Sorry to make this sound like a pitty party, but I guess it is of sorts. This week also found me taking my Sadie to the vet. Last February, she had 2 spots removed that contained mast cells. They got clean margins when they were removed, but one spot was a little more advanced than the other. Long story short, Sadie had 2 more spots removed Tuesday. Now we are waiting for those results.

So keep your fingers crossed that Jax's family doesn't leave me high and dry. Not once while I was in communication did they offer a red cent toward Dixie's surgery bill. Not once. Feeling a little jaded today...


  1. I hope everything works out! We are thinking of you and hoping Sadie is OK.

    Your pal, Pip

  2. now listen to me, i know you are feeling down, but please do not give up your position with the group. in a way, i am glad that jax's family hasnt contacted you. whther you wanted to deal with him or not , he is there and in good care. i know its got to be hard to look at him. but look how his family has abandoned him. and we know thats probably not the first time in his life its happened. he is your sign that you are strong, that you can deal with the good things and the bad things that come along in life. talk to him, forgive him.. we will never ever know why he did what he did..
    please dont give up on the greyhounds. you are the ONLY blogger i know that i really feel like i can contact with about them.

  3. Your story brings me to tears everytime I read it, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. The insurmountable pain, the betrayl and I will say it, the hate you may be feeling must be so overwhelming. Dixie loves you, she not blaming you, listen to her and she will guide you.

  4. Oh no...

    I feel so bad for you and this whole situation. You deserve to have a pity party. I'm disgusted and appalled that they didn't offer to do anything toward Dixie's surgery, or any other help. If my dog was in that situation and attacked the other person's dog, even if it wasn't a fatal attack, I would remove the dog. I can't believe that they didn't have the decency to at least OFFER, and then to cut off communication? You're being a lot nicer about it than I would.

    As far as feeling uninspired, I know how you feel. But, I think it would be better to take maybe a little personal time versus a full out resignation. I think you'll be able to use this experience with future foster and adoption situations. It's such a tragedy for Gracie to have died, and nothing will make it less of a tragedy, but if you resign 100% it will be a more pointless death than it already is.

    Good luck with Sadie's results.

  5. My heart goes out to you in this whole situation! I can't even imagine who alone and angry you must feel. I know that I would be feeling those things if I was in your position. Do you know which group Jax was adopted through? Maybe you should just take him there and leave him with them, explaining the situation. If the family isn't in contact, that's abandonment in my book.

    If I weren't looking at scary bills for Blueberry's surgery myself right now, I'd offer to send you something to help out. I remember when Treat died after we'd tried so hard to save her, and we had this huge vet bill and then she still came home in a little box. My heart wasn't just broken, it felt like it had been crushed to powder. Please know that it's okay to have your pity party and eat the cake, too! If we can help you in any way, please let us know and we'll do our best!